From the beginning of our relationship, we had very different conceptions about whether or not we should get married.
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While goal setting may often be seen as an exercise meant for professional, academic or long-term endeavours, we find equal beauty in setting goals to make the most out of leisurely experiences as well.
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One of Lindsey’s closest friends suggested putting our couple’s goals in a jar. At the end of the year, we reviewed the goals to see to what extent we’d achieved them and we wrote new relationship goals for the coming year.
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Even though we’ve been together for 5 years, we feel like our relationship is new because we’re constantly adapting to life’s transitions. Having to adapt to changes has been useful because it's led us to define and re-define our relationship and has kept us from stagnating.
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It’s become easier to take each other’s presence and companionship for granted because we’ve become part of each other’s everyday routine.
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Once the ego is in control, the smallest interactions with our partner can become insincere because the ego takes the opportunity to seek recognition, praise, attention, or a stronger sense of self.
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In our view, there is no wrong way to become engaged as long as you engage in a method that matches your values, attitudes and beliefs regarding your relationship.
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Adventures place us in different settings and as a result, expose aspects of ourselves that we don’t normally display, so we get to know each other better.
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Tea(m) time: like a checkpoint, or a “tune up” that Formula One race cars receive throughout a race. The purpose of this get-together is to carve out one or two hours a month or bi-weekly to intentionally discuss your relationship with your partner – as a team.
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Become a source of inspiration for each other, and for others, by living authentically… Igniting your relationships through passion.
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Central to Relationship Zen is an active cycle of personal development and couple’s development. Therefore, Relationship Zen Strategic Planning involves the intentional, structured and uplifting process of analyzing our current situations as individuals and as a couple, envisioning a better future as two, and developing a personal and group plan.
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What we mean by “make time for play” is doing fun, valuable, and extraordinary activities that build up the relationship.
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We believe that it's imperative for individuals to prioritize personal development because that ultimately helps to improve the health of their relationships.
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Imagine you are on a long journey by yourself. Along the way, you meet mentors and you learn from them one by one. That’s how we see these books -– they each have something meaningful and pivotal to share with us along our path.
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In a time when we are surrounded by many broken, superficial, or unhealthy relationships, it can be very powerful to identify relationship mentors/role models in our lives. What made their relationship so powerful, especially as they grew older, was that they lived by the following principle:
Live like it’s your last day on earth… No. Love like it’s your last day on earth.
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On this snowy day, we thought of capturing that concept through Valentine’s Day without using commercial goods and we thought you might want to try it too.
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Reflecting on the past and being mindful in the present are essential aspects of Relationship Zen. However, so is setting bold intentions for the future! The holiday season is a beautiful time to combine all three activities.
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Although the Buddha was probably talking about “gift” in a metaphorical sense, we’re embracing the holiday spirit and want to discuss materialistic gifts of health. One of the foundations of Relationship Zen is the idea that we commit to being agents of positive change for each other. Sometimes you can do this by being materialistic – by giving a gift of health!
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Our Relationship Zen journey continues to open our eyes to areas where we can improve with the help of personal mindfulness. The area we’re focusing on here are the moments when we say “hello” to each other – we take these moments for granted by giving each other “Zombie Greetings”, but we must not.
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Instead of continuously being defensive or aggressive, we become mindful of our own frequencies (step 1), become responsible for choosing our reactions (step 2), and open our minds (step 3).
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