Being in a healthy relationship takes consistent and hard work. We’ve found that building a habit of turning towards each other makes it so much harder to get into damaging arguments or a bad break-up/divorce.
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Knowing others as well as yourself is even better. In the spirit of this theme, we want to talk about how to improve your relationship through an intentional group project where you not only learn about yourself but about each other.
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The prerequisite to attracting a fulfilling relationship is to commit to having the best and most positive relationship with yourself. Weak self-love and self-mastery are the causes of any negativity that may exist in our current and past relationships. Also, being optimistic by default not only grants wonderful mental and physical benefits, but also helps us to attract relationship Zen.
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It turns out that email has been the preferred vehicle for our version of an enlightening short-term long-distance relationship. However, it’s not the vehicle that counts, but what the vehicle is transporting. In our case, our emails carried a reflective journal back and forth.
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Out of all the tools that can improve a relationship, practicing to be in the now (present) is probably one of the most underestimated and/or oversimplified.
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Our close friends often ask us if we use the “L” word. After all, society would expect a couple going on two years to “love” each other. Due to this expectation, people are genuinely confused and sometimes even bothered when our answer is “N-O”. It’s actually pretty entertaining to have this occur every time L-O-V-E is brought up. Once they hear our answer, they either think that that we’re out of touch with our feelings (denial of our love for each other) or that we are just avoiding the word because others use it… Neither is true.
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We’ve noticed that many relationships (sometimes even our own) contain less-than-healthy recurring arguments (inability to resolve conflict), condescending communication, withdrawal (silent treatment), hypersensitivity (defensiveness), suspicion (jealousy), sarcasm, criticism, bitterness, distrust, lack of meaningful time spent as a couple, lack of respect, and overall lack of kindness and sympathy.
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We experience our share of difficult conversations as well. After such events, we try to meditate to get back in touch with ourselves and find that state of mindfulness… and sometimes something cool happens. Get the scoop here.
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Last Wednesday we got into a heated discussion during a date downtown after not having seen each other for over a week. Here’s how it went down and what you can learn.
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Our names are David and Lindsey and we’re relationship nerds just like you. Together, we’re a dynamic partnership with one BIG relationship goal: to consciously co-create an enlightened and elevated relationship… And we’re taking you along for the journey.
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