“You never know when you are doing something that is affecting someone.” -Martin Sheen
On the bus ride home tonight, I bumped into a former Karate student of mine that I hadn’t seen in about year. Right at the outset I could sense that his spiritual presence was stronger and I wanted to know what allowed him to grow so quickly. The young teen explained, or rather demonstrated, the extent to which Lindsey’s and my blog has helped to improve his approach to life. The post that touched him the most was Lindsey’s and my favorite: Re-Writing the Romance Novel (Part 1). He was especially moved by the story within that post (study it if you haven’t). I’d like to share with you some valuable lessons learned from my encounter with this young teen.
He emphasized that for him, Lindsey’s and my idea that “we’re not two halves, we’re two wholes sharing a path” was a philosophy to live by. Eventually, the content of our blog and this quote gave him and his partner the tools to see their relationship in a different way and to make an important decision. Although I know that the decision they made was painful, I was so proud and inspired by his willingness not only to learn Relationship Zen but to APPLY it. The young teen now spends time and energy meditating and looking at his life from different perspectives – especially from positive and open ones. From that, he becomes wiser on a daily basis.
Lesson from a young teen 1
The prerequisite to attracting a fulfilling relationship is to commit to having the best and most positive relationship with yourself. Weak self-love and self-mastery are the causes of any negativity that may exist in our current and past relationships. Also, being optimistic by default not only grants wonderful mental and physical benefits, but also helps us to attract relationship Zen.
For example, when Lindsey and I experience negativity in our relationship, it is always due to our own personal insecurities and fears. However, when we individually spend time reflecting on our own issues from positive perspectives, our dynamic improves by leaps and bounds. We’re still working at it because it is a process! When I take responsibility for my own happiness, joint happiness emerges.
He then spoke about returning to Karate after his one-year hiatus because he now believes that it “provides him with an education that he doesn’t get anywhere else”. A year ago he may have never considered returning. Now, he is letting the energy of the universe guide him; not the peer pressure, not the family, not anything external to him – just his own energy. Which is awesome!
Lesson from a young teen 2
To become whole, we must constantly try to expose ourselves to holistic, positive, and productive information, people, and activities because they help us get in tune with our true selves. Limiting exposure to negative frequencies can be as good for your relationships as avoiding junk food is good for your body. Being open to positive/productive frequencies is like living in a world of opportunities that were meant for you. For example, since Lindsey and I began working towards Relationship Zen through our daily (sometimes weekly!) habits, we’ve been attracting so many pleasant and positive “coincidences” or “gifts” in life. To get these habits going, we sign up for various spiritual-related classes and sessions, do exercise, and eat good food. They often come with their struggles to overcome but just like the young teen showed us though his decision to return to Karate, there is no such thing as failure, only feedback which you use to better yourself.
Finally, my conversation with this young gentleman and his newfound motivation reminded me about the impact that we can have on people when we practice what Lindsey and I call Relationship Zen. To us, Relationship Zen is about BEING your personal best at any given moment because you realize the impact you can make on others close to you.
In this case, Lindsey’s and my blog helped this man. He is now sharing tools with others. They are sharing tools with yet others… behold the ripple effect. As we had hoped in our aboutsection: “If we do our part, we (the authors) will be happier. If you do your part, you (the reader) will be will be happier. If we all do our part, the whole world will be happier. This is the ripple effect that we anticipate.” That reminds me, join our Facebook group so that we can keep the discussion going – let’s build a community.
Third lesson from the young teen
Tell us, Oprah:
“I’ve come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that’s as unique as a fingerprint and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.”- Oprah Winfrey